No, not as school. Although the thought of my colleagues all drunk during working hours is not an unappealing one, oh the fun we would have, the creative games we would play!
"Can you sing the ABC song? No? Well, neither can Teacher!"
"Let's play the who-can-make-the-room-stop-spinning game, winner gets five stars!"
It was only after last night's adventure that I remembered that for the best part of the last five years people were drunk and I was sober while serving them. Now, it seems silly that all of a sudden I had forgotten just what drunk folk are like.
At the end of last night, upon announcing my leaving, there seemed to be a jeer of defiance from my (albeit rather small in number) audience. They proceeded to sandwich me, not necessarily a terrible thing, but it turned into this sort of frenzied squishing thing where I was the thing being squished. I got away once only for the process to be repeated a second time as if I was an orange and there was a wee bit of juice still left in.
So my friends had squished me and I got away only to be stopped en route to the exit by a man that I had been speaking to during the evening. He was nice. He was also huge. Big huge man. I had said goodbye and as I left he must have decided that it wasn't quite enough of a goodbye and proceeded to manhandle me into the front facing position he wished me to be in. Needless to say he came across some resistance.
As opposed to the last squish performed by my friends, this stranger just.wasn't.funny.
When I told him that I didn't appreciate being manhandled by him he said something like "Did you note the fact that I could though?" Infuriating.
Now, the thing is, I'm a small person. I don't hide it, I wear flats nearly all the time and I feel that it's not necessarily a disadvantageous position. Sure, my world is full of tits and armpits, but hell, most of the time that's a little better than face but there's a couple of problems here:
1. People feel, just as they do with the younger small stuffs, that they can poke, hug, pick-up and generally impose on my personal space in a way which wouldn't really be acceptable if I was a person of somewhat more substantial stature.
2. Being small comes with the obvious physical restraints. Essentially, I just don't have the same load baring capabilities that a 5'5 girl would. In other words, it hurts and if it doesn't hurt, it's very uncomfortable.
The whole thing brought me back to working in crowded clubs and being stopped and hit on while holding 20 pint glasses and walking across a dance floor.
It also reminded me why it's better to drink when everyone else is doing it.
Drink to forget.
Oh, and just in case you guys at home forgot just how infantile I am, I saw this at the park and couldn't help myself.
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| Vagina tree root. I call it Varoot! |
Dx
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