Cough, Splutter, Look that way!

I'm listening to a woman's hour podcast, as I do nearly every night before I go to sleep.

One of the topics today is 'coital vocalisation'. This is interesting in a lot of ways, mostly because it flings a certain American ex-flatmates theory that WH was for housewives, right out the spoken word radio window. AHEM, nee-ner-nee-ner.

Red Button

Life in Taiwan is just getting stranger and stranger, and the more time I spend here the smaller I realise the place is.

Take Edinburgh for example, it's a really small place, and bumping into people you'd rather not bump into happens all the time. It seems though that it wasn't quite as small as Taichung. I literally know what everyone else is doing and when.

That means everyone else knows what I'm doing as well. That's not a nice feeling, like the CCTV cameras in London but worse because you know everyone's judging you...

On the upside, it also means that as quickly as scandal is scandalising all the upright citizens, another one comes in to make the scandalized citizens think that the last one wasn't so bad.

Bad form. Bad form indeed! (<-- That's me, judging.)

Done

My mum told me that I had to think about jobs and careers and what I want to do.

I want to tell her that she should think about jobs and careers herself. How do you have a 'yo' momma' argument with your own mother?

Can I not just keep travelling for the rest of my life? I think the bags under my eyes are vetoing that idea. 'Settle down' they say 'eat some salad and get a tan' they say.

So where to settle?

I went to Stockholm when I was on Erasmus. I want to live there, hows about it?

Close enough to the family in the UK, no further to the Israeli family, big city, good looking people, good looking Israeli Swedish babies? Yes, maybe.

Right, so I am now accepting all suggestions as to where I should live, and what sort of permanent employment I should be looking for, and generally, any advice you'd like to throw at me, suggested topics: 'How to get rid of mosquitoes', 'How to make your shower curtain stay up', 'How to make friends and influence people', 'This is where you should live', 'This is where you should work' and 'How to live like a responsible adult'

I think I have a chest infection but look how cute my kids are!

Ok, so I realise it looks a bit like something from the grudge, but it isn't, they're normally more smiley than this!

So, erm, this is England... that little bit at the top is little England, and that little island is Old England and.... wow...

This is teacher Clinton, he's 22, needless to say, this is not true to life, although he does have blue eyes, facial hair, and a bald head, so not too far.

This is an awfully blurry picture. When you go for lunch with a very tall blonde guy in Asia, people will take pictures of you with their super cool Fuji instex mini. You will then have to take a picture on your phone of said picture (which is beautiful by the way) and hope that somewhere out there, there's a friend of yours who has the £50 to buy you said cool camera. Yes.