Think+Hope=Thope

The recent death of a mouse in my kitchen sink sunk me to a joyless level that I hadn't been in for months.

I know... it's a mouse, and really, it never asked permission before it went in my sink, and had he done so I would have informed him it was a bad idea and that his life maybe in danger.

But no, he neither asked, nor did I give him that warning and I found him the next morning lying flat on his little mousy tummy with his arms and legs outstretched like a small flattened Nando's chicken.

I was miserable. For a whole day. I even passed up the chance of procrastibaking (=baking+procrastinating) with one of my favourite people.

This misery is still kind of running around but the good news has started flowing in again and it's made me feel somewhere between guilty and overjoyed.

I mean, of course the mouse wouldn't have been able to go to Taiwan with Leanne, and sure, it wouldn't have ever been able to meet my Erasmus friends in London, but the wee bugger never even got the crumb he was after (my sink was unusually clean)

Remember that Muller advert with the pleasure and pain what if every time I get good news a mouse dies? I'd be like the ultimate happy vermin controller...

Sarina, Matt, and Timo all left town in the last ten days (it started with Sarina ten days ago, then Timo left, and we took Matt to the airport yesterday.

This left Nastasja and I somewhat deranged and we sat outside a Tesco's on their £3.50 plastic chairs for what seemed like five minutes but must have been about an hour talking about CVs, jobs, London, MBAs, and Genitals. All the while Nastaja was easting a chocolate croissant.

I finish work on the 11th July! can anyone think of anything I should do in Edinburgh before I leave? (bearing in mind that I have been living here for four and a half years, so going to Crammond or the Castle is out...)

Oh, and how does everyone feel about austerity measures? National deficit cut to nothing in five years? seems unlikely.

ends, beginnings and middle cravings.

Life is sweet.

The last couple of months (the time after I handed my dissertation in) have served as a pretty good reminder of how golden my life here in Edinburgh has been.

My friends are awesome,

my flat is warm, I make a mean cake, and my work has enough banter to supply good chat for a thousand corporate events. I also switched to Android after an unfortunate incident with the iPhone and a club.

So much exciting stuff is just about to happen that I am finding it progressively more difficult to be sad about leaving. I am, however, becoming anxious.

Damn it, I'm pretty much pooping my little pants.

I have a ticket to go to Taiwan, but no real idea whether or not I'll find a job, whether or not I'll find decent people to hang out with and I don't even know how long I'll be staying for.

A little while ago a cute boy told me that "as we get older, it becomes more important to make the right decision, so that you don't waste time" Not an exact quote, but the gist is there, that plus my parents' worried stares when I told them that I have no idea when or whether I'll be back has only made the anxiety and the contemplation about decisions worse.

But hey, if I don't do this now what would I do? Move to London? join the rat race? get a job? I don't want any of that (much to my mother's dismay...)

Anyway, I'm really struggling with the idea of blogging because I find that most blogs are so self indulgent that its sickening, so please, links in comments to blogs that aren't.

D